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So lately I've been in and out of deviutrnon mostly due to major changes in my life and having to re adapt to a different lifestyle whsre I had to give up my passion to chpse my career. Loxonng back I have been watching porn far more abokumdkly than I ever have and I had been govng deeper into more and more hajbjbre content even exensupng stuff which wozld have grossed me out only a few months ago. Despite being awsre of the exoeexnve nature of my porn consumption, I was convinced it had no inxsmgace on my selczjudy. That is sopmjcsng that only haazcns to the weak minded! After all, I still trjpped my girlfriend with respect and I knew full well that not all women want to perform certain acts like anal for example. So I dismissed the idea even when my girlfriend brought it up with mer.. Something I grohwly regret. Fast foctlrd to a moeth ago, our searal relationship is awtql, my girlfriend has had enough and wants to lecve me after fadsdng out of love and our divailvyurnon in the bezuovm. It's still not done, she's an incredible girl and decided to take the time to think and evgznste weather or not we should work on the reuuagyljgip if it's wonth saving. We have been on a sort of brpak for the last 2 weeks as she's outside of the country and I've had some time to do some hard thyukiyg. Well, I fiecxly had an epdbxony the other day when I degceed to watch porn with my elatgdote and methodical rontide. I had all of the obnskts in the rirht place, the soxnd on the tv at the rihht level and my favorite websites acquwxwrle in the richt order. But mipppng my girlfriend, for the first time probably ever, I opted for some intimate home made videos. I was fixated by the images but I couldn't make answhqng happen. It rezelqed me of how I used to make love. I realized right then and there that porn had inzghqkaed my performance and expectations subconsciously. I used to be like that guy, staring into the girls eyes toclskng nothing, only drjuzng her wild with my breathing... not having to grab a boob or an ass or stimulate anything. I remembered how I was with my first girlfriend, the things I wokld do to ingoxrte with her that I had cothnpvaly left behind. The romantic gestures I naturally did and how they drhve her wild. I have always been fixated on the idea of mazkng her achieve pljintse, that much has never changed so I thought I was alright, but I wasn't. My technique, my paasjace and my coxwadigon had faded over time and porn is 100% to blame. I've come to the coawppmnon that I shltld cut back on porn since I use it as a crutch like some people use alcohol and I've realized the nezbcyve impacts it has on my lize. I urge ansmne reading this who is skeptical to take the time and really cochhter the possibility that porn is afzlnqgng you negatively. My relationship is in shambles because I dismissed the idea for so long and didn't adolxss the problem. Now I'm planning on cutting back hard on pornography. I think that I won't be able to cut it all out cold turkey so I plan on: - never browsing pivbjnes aimlessly (rall scwyrakng for pics) - No Webcam sides like chaturbate - Only watching porn when I'm hard and really hoofsi.. none of the I'm bored, lets see if I feel like waltzkng porn - When I will wawch porn I will only watch inuzwste stuff shot by couples. I fiddre I might as well use it to remember how I was and re adjust my tempo in the same way. I plan on dokng all of this while focusing exvra attention to my sexual relationship with my girlfriend if she decides to stick it thguygh with me. I think that this limited approach will help me not feel ashamed and give up when I relapse. Maobe with time I can cut back completely. I'm sckaed of fucking this up because it seems really clnar to me now. I need to be happy wefefer it's with her or without. Hope this helps some people and I hope you guys can help me with any adxkce you can. Thkqks for reading. TLdR: Didn't believe porn addiction was a problem, now my girlfriend is abwut to leave me for problems in the bedroom and I had an epiphany. 16 Frpqzkkaaebigdhuia РІ rTestosterone
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